Kakashi Hatake (copycatninjak) wrote in oa_logs,
Kakashi Hatake

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[Log] Tonight I'm so alone...this sorrow takes ahold.

Characters: NK! Kakashi and ANBU Genma
Date: Backdated December 23rd or so
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kakashi decides starting a band named Depressive Spiral would be a good idea after a couple of drinks and his life falling in shambles. Leave it Genma to show him that he still has family and a make-shift brother to pick him up onto his feet. Lyrics from Falling Inside the Black by Skillet.

He had been sitting at that tavern for a good hour now, indulging the sake that wasn't actually half bad. Mask still up, Hatake Kakashi was having one of those nights where he was estatic to have once been ops. Less people bothered you, and it was easy to blend in. Which is what he had been doing, that and avoiding his apartment. At least for the moment.
Kakashi wasn't exactly looking forward to going back to it. At least at the moment, even if he was still wearing his uniform, covered in grime from his latest mission. Bringing the cup to his lips, Kakashi took another sip as he continued to read his book, seemingly unphased by everything going on around him.

For all that Genma had been focused on his own life and problems lately, he wasn't completely oblivious, nor was he uncaring. And at the moment, it wasn't his own issues that were on his mind. Which is why he had walked all over town, searching for a familiar chakra signature, checking all the places he knew his friend spent time.

When he walked into the tavern, there was obvious relief in his expression and posture. He ordered himself a drink, waited to get it before moving toward the other man, sipping slowly at the fruity frothy thing and reaching out to set a hand on Kakashi's shoulder silently.

Kakashi didn't even glance up from the book as Gen approched. He took another drink of the sake, tilting his head slightly as he regarded the page he was on before casually flipping it, "So...how much of my stuff will I need to replace?"
Genma snorted, walked around to settle into the booth across from Kakashi. "I don't know, I wasn't brave enough to go looking at everything. I have a feeling you don't want to think about it." Because Ino always had been a hurricane, and this... wasn't quite the normal situation. 

He tilted his head, the collar moving against his skin, his hair escaping a little from the front of his bandana, slightly askew from running. "So?" 

"Not paticularly." Kakashi gave a cheerful smile from behind his mask. Though he wasn't feeling paticularly cheerful, the bottle of sake he had before was putting him slowly in a better mood. "So." The copy ninja repeated before taking another drink, "You want to know, don't you, nosy little brother."
A slow sip of his extremely ridiculous fruity drink, and then Genma nodded. "Isn't that what little brothers are supposed to be like? All up in your business all the time?" He offered a wry smile, leaned back a little against the booth.

"I'm concerned. But you know that, nii-chan." 

"Mmm." Kakashi said after a moment before setting down both his book and his glass. "It's not all that exciting..." Kakashi gave a light shrug as he went to pour a bit more from the bottle into the glass, "...I guess...married life just really isn't my cards? I don't think I'm suited for it. I just came home from a mission...you know that one a couple weeks back? It just....I stood there staring at the door of the apartment not actually wanting to go in. It...didn't feel right. Like the moment I opened that door, I would get attacked be it from wedding details to something from Ino...like I was always on duty...even in my own apartment." Kakashi paused to take another drink, "I know everything I've gone through with her...maybe I was blinded to the fact that she thought I was someone other than who I was? Suppose it doesn't much matter now, I already used a few connections to get the marriage annulled."
Genma raised an eyebrow, surprised at that. It all seemed so quick. Of course, he'd only known Kakashi and Ino together, but because of that, it made their relationship seem a constant in his life. For it to be over, just like that, made his head spin a little.

"That quickly? Well and truly done, just like that?" 

Kakashi raised a brow, "Do you really think I'd have to wait? Besides...how it was done, it was more the paperwork than anything, luckily. Had it been after that big fiasco in April..." Kakashi suppressed the shudder. He didn't want to think of the nightmare that would have been. He brought the sake to his lips taking another drink, "It's better this way. As completely heartless as this may seem, I'm not exactly trying to be. Quicker is better than being long and drawn out. Ino's got her father to fall back on...she doesn't need me now." He took another drink and muttered into his glass, "That much is obvious."
"It was a bad relationship from the start. Ino needed protecting and let's face it, given my track record, I'm a bit of a sucker for punishment. Besides, one gets tired fighting ghosts after awhile...eventually one becomes the very thing he's fighting against. Or some cryptic fortune cookie statement like that..." Kakashi gave a shrug, "She'll get over it, I'm sure. They all do eventually...or use it to make the next guy fall in line," He then muttered again bring the cup to his lips and draining the rest of the glass,  "or they die. Either way, I'm sure I'll get the blame no matter what happens."

Genma's eyes widened a little. This was far too callous even for Kakashi, though he understood that it wouldn't have been nice to draw things out if he was sure about leaving. 

Amber eyes searched Kakashi's face for a moment, and then Genma gave a funny sort of half-smile and reached out a hand, brushed it against the back of the hand setting the cup back on the table. "You going to need help getting home later?" Obviously, his 'brother' was quite sloshed.

"Mmm, more n'likely." Kakashi replied, his one gray eye glancing towards the bottle on the table, "I had about 3 of those before you got here. That one's about good. Er...gone. Tho' I was thinkin' of going t'see the lady at the porn shop...get my mind, fuzzy as it is, off things." Kakashi paused to stare at the glass a little harder, "That'd make Ino hate me a little more...make it easier...I didn't want to hurt her...but married t'someone like me...that isn't a life for anyone. Rin wanted that too...and look what happened t'her..." Kakashi stared harder at the glass, "I'd never live up t'my father, I don't paticularly want kids, I'm cranky, and after the sex...what is there? Ino and I don't have a ton in common...she wants me to be Asuma...always has...realized that standing outside that night..." Kakashi gave a half laugh as he went to drain the rest of his bottle, "Need more then a physical relationship....heh...what the fuck is wrong with me tonight?"
Genma took another slow sip of his own drink, pulling his hand back across the table, his eyes steady on his friend's face. "Mm, I'd say it's pretty normal to be upset after a breakup, whether you initiate it or the other person does. Granted, I'm not exactly an expert on normal." 

He chuckled, shrugged his shoulders. "I can understand all those reasons, and I wasn't trying to say you had done the wrong thing. It was just a bit of a shock to everyone involved." And living in their home had made him involved, if nothing else. "If you're going to see Kat, I'll walk you there. I don't know what to say about Ino... you know how fond I am of her, but... you can't be someone you're not, Kakashi." 

"I love her, little brother..." Kakashi said quietly, waving at the waitress for another refill. The waitress looked at him skeptically before seeing Genma, then decided it was all right to replace his bottle again. Kakashi gifted her with a cheerful expression before pouring a bit more in his glass, "S'why I'm lettin' her go...if I didn't...she'd be miserable...I'll never be what she wants...She wants what Kuranai has with Asuma....I can't give her that." Kakashi muttered before downing what was in his glass, "Shoulda listened t'Sasuke and stuck with men...women're too complicated outside a good book..."
Genma rolled his eyes. "I doubt it has anything to do with gender. Individuals have different expectations. Granted, I've never quite gotten the 'women' thing anyway, so I probably don't know what I'm talking about." 

He wrinkled his nose, sighed softly. "She'll be all right though. Like you said, she has a support system. You, on the other hand, worry me." He kicked at Kakashi's ankle, gave him a hard look. "You're not going to go into some kind of depressive spiral on me, are you, aniki?"

"Depressive spiral? That sounds like a name of a rockband or one of your paintings..." Kakashi said thoughtfully before taking another drink. "M'I gotta support system too. Granted their all dead...but if I get drunk enough, I'm sure I'll talk to one or two o'em tonight..." Kakashi gave another cheerful expression to Genma, before a belated oww was muttered at the kick. "I'll be right as rain...I work better alone...can focus on things more...do my job...that's what matters."
Somehow, Genma wasn't reassured. "You get drunk enough to talk to the dead, and I guarantee you I'll be meeting them too, because I'm going to be so glued to you that you'll think I've crawled into your skin." 

He said the words with his friendliest smile, took a long drink of his own glass. It went down smooth and sweet, and then was gone. "Family sucks that way, sometimes." He smirked, relaxed a little more against the booth. "Besides, I need something to occupy my time, and drunk people are fun." 
"M'between you, Iru, and the dead, I'll never be alone..." Kakashi chuckled softly, taking another drink. Reaching across the table, Kakashi messed at Genma's hair, "Family eh? Haven't had one o'those in a long time. Sure you wanna be stuck with me, little brother? I have it on good authority I'm an asshole at the best of times."
He offered a faint smile from behind the mask, "Well, I can't fight the claim that drunk people are fun. I think I'm pretty fun like this." He paused before adding, "Occupy your time tho'...I thought that's what that nuts Izumo was doing."
Genma snorted. "I suppose you could call it that. Less so at the moment, though. Iruka's got him pretty spooked off me at the moment. Though I doubt you have interest in occupying my time quite the same way Izumo does, Kashi-nii-chan." 

He smirked, waved to the waitress for another one of the sweet fruity drinks he was in the mood for that evening. 

"Not paticularly," Kakashi replied, a slight smile on his face, "No offense little brother, and as much as you might enjoy it, fucking you isn't on my to do list." Kakashi took another drink, "It just seems...wrong. Plus, I think y'have someone else on your mind. Sorry about Iru tho'...I didn't know he'd head back t'the apartment, lookin' for me."
"It'd be a little funny anyway. 'Oh little brother, you're so hot and tight and...' Just... no." Genma snickered, kicked at Kakashi's foot again, just because it was fun.

"As for who is on my mind, it's not like it's your fault, or like anyone involved was doing anything wrong. Though I do wish you'd told me he broke up with Tenzou. I would have felt a little less stupid." 

"He's my best friend Gen. I can't break his trust, even for you little brother..." Kakashi said softly, looking at the glass, "It's not my place. More t'the point, just because you realized he broke up with Tenzou shouldn't have made that big of difference. Would you have changed anything you did with Izumo just cause Iru's on the rebound?"
"I don't know," Genma said honestly. He sat up a little more, so that he could lean forward and grab one of Kakashi's hands. "I understand you couldn't break his trust, I'm not mad at you or anything. The whole situation just sucked. It doesn't matter now." 

He slid his eyes to the side, spoke more softly. "Are you going to mind if I talk to Ino at all? That is, if she even wants me to be her friend anymore?" 

"Mmm, sorry little brother. Wish yer life was at least workin' out." Kakashi smiled faintly, before shaking his head at Genma's next question, "No...I don't mind. I'm not gonna make you choose between people. Wouldn't be fair, t'you or Ino. And I'm all about the fair..." Kakashi gave a little wave of his hand before downing a rather large swollow of his sake. "Hell...y'have my permission t'date her iffn y'want...y'could prolly do a better job then me..."
Genma had been attempting to take a drink out of the fresh glass the waitress had handed him, and it turned into a rather brightly-colored spray of liquid across the table as he spluttered. "What? I'm not.... but shes a GIRL!" 

"Yeah, I know...but don't hold that against her..." Kakashi replied unphased, taking another drink, "'sides, I thought y'swung both ways, tho'."
"Well, umm..." Genma blushed, shook his head a little. "Not exactly. I've only done things with girls when I was ordered to do so, or well, Kat, but we haven't done anything exactly sexual..." 

He wrinkled his nose, shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe if I ever get up the nerve to top I could handle a girl, but I haven't even done that in about... fifteen years or so?" 

A chuckle erupted out of Kakashi's masked face. "Gen, dating someone doesn't mean your nessecarily screwing them." He shook his head in amusement, "Usually it means more n'that."
"Well, excuse me, Mr. Know-It-All, but I've never dated anyone, so I wouldn't know!" Genma crossed his arms over his chest, pretending to be annoyed. His blush spread a little more, and he licked his lips, spoke a little quieter. "I'm hoping Iru might be the first, once I work shit out." 

"You and the crazy cat...that'll be entertaining..." Kakashi downed a bit more of his bottle, "Well I wish y'luck, if it does happen. Me, I think I'm gonna give up the dating thing and stick to the fucking when the need takes me thing...that always worked better..."
Genma shrugged his shoulders. "If that's what works for you, that's what works for you. It doesn't sound horribly fulfilling, though." He worked on his drink a little more, thinking. "It's too soon to think about it, really, but I'd think you just need to find someone who actually loves you for who you are. Then again, who you are is an asshole, soooooo..." 

He winked, trailed off.

Kakashi slumped his head a little, leaning against his hand as he stared at his empty cup, rolling it slightly in his other hand. "Who'd love me for who I am, Gen? I am that asshole..." Kakashi smiled slightly watching the cup spin in his hand, "Maybe I should start a band in my spare time...call it Despressive Spiral...."
Genma chuckled. "Mm, there you go. Sounds like a good life plan for you. Though I beg to differ on no one loving you because you're an asshole. If Iruka and I can put up with you, surely there's someone else out there somewhere who can." 

"There was once..." Kakashi sighed softly as he stared at the glass, "But, she's dead. Like everyone else. You and Iru...are different. Ah well. If I get stuck with him again, I'll put in a good word for you little brother. At least one of us deserves happiness, eh?" Kakashi offered another cheerful smile from beneath the mask before putting his glass down on the table. Tilting his head faintly he asked, "I don't think the waitress will give me another refill, regardless of the fact I'm sharingan no kakashi..."
"It'd take some effort, I think, to talk her into it." He glanced toward the waitress, who had seemed used to dealing with shinobi and not particularly threatened by Kakashi. "I suppose I could promise not to let you die of alcohol poisoning, but I think you've probably had enough anyway. Did you want to go see the lady at the porn shop, or should I take you home?" 

"....home." Kakashi said quietly. "Just....take me home."

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